Rainbow Connections

It's just about summer... and the humidity is setting in full strength. Today it was both sunny and raining at the same time, which I think might be why we had this rare rainbow arching across the sky late in the evening when we set out to take someone to her tap class. It was just a bit surprising to find myself picking her up even though it was still light outside at 8:15pm at night. All year long our Thursday night routine has taken place in the cold and dark of night... and now it's all of a sudden ( to me anyway... as I missed a couple weeks) a daylight affair.

My oldest took the picture for me. Honestly, I can't recall the last time I saw a rainbow arching across the sky like this. It seems like it's been years and years. When I was a really little girls a rainbow on the back of someone's car meant they loved Jesus, peace, and was a reference to the rainbow promise God gave after Noah's ark came through the flood. And now... rainbows on the back of cars seem to have a totally different meaning.

This is why I tend to keep things to myself...

Snide comment about how we really ought to consider adoption or something instead of having more children...

It's rude!

And it's the wrong thing to say to anyone who has graciously taken time out of their hectic day with a new baby to share their good news with you.

I know, I know, I shouldn't be surprised... I don't hear these very often because I generally don't put myself out there. I don't announce when I'm expecting... I don't want to hear your disapproval.

I hide my excitement, almost to the point of totally denying myself any joy in being blessed with another child... because I don't want to hear your disapproval.

I keep my pain and suffering... discomforts, inconveniences, and burden TO MYSELF.... so as to not give you any excuses to feel as I've in any way inconvenienced YOU... by daring to have yet another child.

I don't expect anything from you and receive none from you... and yet you still feel as if you have a place to judge. Go ahead, have you opinion. It's your right. But I don't want to hear it. It doesn't make my job any easier and I don't see how making me feel like crap can make your day any better.

And to be honest, the person who has said something, hasn't seen me nor my children in years. Hasn't even met half of my children... and need never do so either.

Seriously!

I just need to vent a little, as it's so hurtful and irritating... I don't know how my fellow friends who are so much more forthcoming with their growing-family-news deal with this without coming unglued. Shesh... I can't hide any further under than rock than I already do, and yet I still manage to offend by my shear existence. I doubt I could be more eco-mom than I am now... I knock myself out doing all the "right" things... cloth diaper, breastfeed, home everything! Go ahead, tell me how I'm stripping the planet of all it's natural resources because I'm over populating the earth. Give me a break! On my street, there are houses full of many things, but very few of them have so much as even one child living within.

Mama cloth...
wash clothes instead of baby wipes...
Composting...
We grow a lot of our own veggies in the summer...

And even if I stopped all those things tomorrow because mama is getting exhausted keeping up with the eco-freakish Jones... where do you get off judging me and putting all this pressure on any mother on this planet that she live up to YOUR expectations of what you think someone else ought to be doing?

Okay... stepping down and off my soap box... got that off my chest and I won't think about it anymore... deep breath, a prayer for their soul. I've already spent too much time on this already.

The waiting is the hardest part

My babies tend to take longer to be ready. Generally, when I'm expecting, I can anticipate to still be pregnant at least 1 week or more after my due date. The longest I've ever gone is 42weeks and 1 day over an adjusted date (which was at least three days forward from the typical wheel date I would have been assigned had I not been charting). And it seems these days there's a lot of fear surrounding the notion that a baby will expire if not born right on time. Ironically, with each of my kids who went past the magical date, when all was said and done, none showed any signs of being over-due. They always look good, smooth and emerge covered in plenty of chunky vernix, and enough hair to convince docs and attendants that surely my dates were off... or something.

Anyhow, once again I've managed to...knock on wood... emerge from childbirth unscathed, and with a seemingly healthy infant, who thus far seems lustrous and hardy. She has the fullest head of hair I've had thus far, and gobs of vernix stuck in it, so that she looks almost as if she's been playing in her daddy's hair molding products. This one was probably about 12 days past the "due date." She was just under two hours shy of arriving on her big brother's birthday, but will have a day of her very own, though it's likely cakes will be shared in the future...and mother's days too, as I shared mother's day with my special four year old birthday boy this year.